Educational Research Consultant | Acquiring Excellence

These is what I have written from 1996 to present, ordered from oldest to newest. Enjoy!

They Haunt You When You're Weak

Curled up on my bed
Crying for the pain to go away
I wish I could go back and change things,
But I know I never can.

Pain almost like sickness
I hug my pillow for support
I’ve told so many
But nothing eases the hurt.

Memories don’t fade with time
They haunt you when you’re weak.
Making you feel dirty and used,
Unable to start again.

I just want to be free from sadness.
I hate being so needy.
I have to know this time will pass.
This ache is so much to bear.

Prodigal Daughter

Daddy, pick me up;
Hold me close to Your heart.
I have so much to say.
Father, where do I start?
But You silence me with a glance
I haven’t deserved in so long,
And You ask, “Can I have this dance?
Don’t you know you belong?”

You wipe the tears from my eyes,
And together we rise,
Hand and hand, we float in the air.
While the angels all sing,
I dance with my King.
All it took was merely a prayer,
And we dance.

No

Running could be so easy
If only I could run far enough
I had to run, you understand,
Because I couldn’t say no.

He asked me to stay behind,
To forget all that had happened.
But I had to run, you understand,
Because I couldn’t say no.

She told me I was foolish,
That no one should leave home.
But I had to run, you understand,
Because I couldn’t say no.

He told me he didn’t care,
Everyone needs adventure.
If only he had asked me to stay.
But he had to say no.

Friends and family tried to persuade me
And my already made up mind.
Surely there was another option.
But I had to go, and I had to run.

Have I found the smile I sought?
Has the sad remained behind?
No. Running should be easy,
If only I could run far enough.

What?

What?
You no longer trust me?
I tell one person about us,
And now I'm untrustworthy?

You won't even talk to me.
You say you've been betrayed.
But you're the one who kissed my neck.
You're the one that disobeyed.

I didn't even want you,
But your touch changed my mind.
And then I had to have you.
But you had to be unkind.

So now, I sit and try to sort
All the feelings of the past.
Was there something more I missed,
Why we didn't last?

But I can think of nothing.
You've moved on to another girl.
And of course, you still don't talk to me,
You're in your own new world.

Should I dwell on what you did and said,
Of all the happy times?
No, I think I won't.
What you did to me was crime!

Suicide

Let the fighting begin;
A small girl crouches in the corner.
Slamming doors and hate-filled words;
Tears run down her cheeks.
"How could you?" she sneers.
The little girl glances at her feet,
Frazzled hair and shaking fists.
And slowly unlaces her tennies.
Tailing on the freeway!
She wraps the strings around her neck.
Unanswered calls and vulgar messages.
With laces taut, she ties a bow.
Anger unleashed with venom.
Feeling her face flush, she holds her teddy close.

Daughter of my Heart

Daughter of my heart,
I know that's what you called me.
We shared so much in common,
But my heart you could not see.

I stood by you as well I could
Through the shouting and the tears.
When you passed out, I ran and hid;
So much pain, so many years.

And then the phone calls stopped.
I'd accept only your letters.
This daughter you now hurt so much;
The ache would get no better.

I saw you only two more times,
No choice of mine, but yours.
I didn't want to be your daughter;
I could handle it no more.

So many times, I'd ask you why,
But your answers would confuse me.
You'd stop smoking, even go to church,
But you'd never stop your drinking.

But then, the phone call came one day.
This man I knew had died.
There would be no more cards or visits.
And for once, for you, I cried.

No good-byes were there to have
You'd never hear I love you.
Your best intentions, never realized,
Your heart I never knew.

Philip

My one and only,
Darling, you’re the one I saw from long ago.
A little girl, staring into the night sky and dreaming.
Now here I sit, with you on the couch, curled up at your side,
I know where I belong.
I can be with no other.

The look in your eyes carries so much intensity.
You look inside me
I am not afraid.
It holds me.
You make me feel so worthy,
I am alone no more.

Cuddling is so much fun,
Wrapped up in your arms,
Feeling so protected from everything and nothing.
And just resting.
Life could be so simple,
Just knowing someone loves you.

Learning to Fight

I stand, silent, behind you,
Not knowing what to say.
I hear the guns roar;
The bullets hiss and whistle.
And suddenly the men before us fall.
You tell me to ready my gun.
I must defend as you.
My pack weighs heavy as I try to move;
Still shaken, I nod and kneel.
Remember not the blood you see,
I’m reminded once again.
The enemy deserves to die,
And you must fight until we’re free.
Remember not the homes that fall
As we come marching through.
If they remain, then we will perish
Like many before us have.
Press on.
Aim.
Fire.

Father Pick Me Up

Father, pick me up;
Carry me in your arms as before.
I've tried to fill my own cup,
But I'm thirsty, always wanting more.

I want to dance with you alone,
Let the angels sing their song,
Let the words and seeds that You've sown
Echo within me "I belong!"

Father, pick me up.
Let me sit on Your knee
While You whisper Your words of love,
And You allow me to be me.

I'm sick from the striving and straining,
More exhausted every night.
And instead of Your wisdom, gaining,
I've been losing my might.

I'm confused and frightened, Lord,
Afraid of not finding my way,
Unsure if I've severed the cord
That links me to you day by day.

So, pick me up and carry me
On Your shoulders, high above,
Your truth and wisdom to be seen
As I rest in Your steadfast love.

My drinking poem

Numb, numb, numb...
And maybe just a little bit dumb.
See I filled up my throat
with some rum and some coke,
And now all I feel is numb.

It wasn't my fault, I insist.
It could have been something I missed.
The glass was too tall,
The coke was too small,
And I downed it with one flick of my wrist.

So, all I can say is numb...
numb from the coke and the rum
numb because I was dumb
And I'm waiting for that headache to come!

Melissa

I never thought I would see her break.
I mean she had everything.
Any guy,
Any gift,
She was rich beyond comprehension.
And of course I envied her.
She was my roommate;
I kept hoping her perfection would someday rub off on me.
She never knew what it was to hurt.
She would break off relationships long before the guy knew what hit him
And casually move on to the next hot hunk.
She was happy with this life she had built for herself.
Not one tear ever escaped her eyes.

But then her world crashed down on her.
I don't know when it started.
Maybe when she saw my life becoming like hers,
The pain I experienced when I couldn't play as she had.
Perhaps it happened when she finally found herself in love,
Unable to control her emotions.
Three words revealed her imperfection:
"I can't do it," she said.
The phone call came after I moved away.
There was desperation in her voice.
I had never heard such pain.
I waited for the joy, but there was none.
Instead, she told me she was wrong.
She told me she needed to start over.
She told me she was moving back home,
An adult moving back in with her parents.
Unbelieveable.
And then I knew she had been broken.
Tears flowed freely.
She confessed the aching she had felt for so long,
And sorrow over all she had hurt.
Ache and sorrow I never knew existed.

Because you see, I thought she was perfect.
I mean, she is, isn't she?

Composed on a Hotel Roof

With pains of labor, the city screams
As more and more buildings give birth.
The tourists pour in to live out their dreams
Crowding this small piece of earth.

Trees hover over the busy streets
While the muddy roads bathe the rain.
Trash skips down walks dodging the weeds,
And the river to a never-ending drain.

The panhandlers shout over blaring TV’s,
And sirens drown out honking horns
While out-of-work ants and buzzing bumblebees
Dance over flowery thorns.

In this city, where lights shine at night,
And the illumination of “open” never fades;
Cars drive by to cruise and to fight,
And children play in its shade.

Niños de las Calles

The boy sits there on the corner
With not even a morsel to eat.
His face is stained with tears and mud,
While open sores cover his unshod feet.

Wrapped in a blanket, he shivers;
Yet with an outreached hand,
He pleads for coins or anything
In a voice only the compassionate understand.

Piden los niños de las calles
Con ojos tristes, "Moneda, Señor?"
Pero si escucharas a sus corazones,
Oirías la petición de amor.

The cold night passes, and no one stops;
It's time for the boy to move on.
Perhaps in the gutters amidst the trash,
He'll find a treasure before it's gone.

In the light of day, he must act tough,
The only way to survive,
And if he hides his fears, his hurts, his tears,
The others will leave him alive.

Piden los niños de las calles
Con ojos tristes, "Moneda, Señor?"
Pero si escucharas a sus corazones,
Oirías la petición de amor.

Night is descending once again
With her cold, rigid arms of steel,
And the boy is sitting on his corner
Waiting for a chance to feel.

The Spirits

When love letters read like obituaries
And rings ruin with rust,
When cobwebs cover corners,
And tables dirty with dust,
The spirits come alive to speak
To the emptiness around
They tell their stories of lives once lived
of deaths died, and lost feelings found.

And living ones may find themselves
Walking 'round this room.
Unaware of conversations had only moments before,
Or those kept within this tomb.
They think those who have seen and heard
Must be drunk with drink.
Unwilling or unopen
Not understanding what they cannot think.

Gram

The twin beds in the bedroom,
The jar of pennies kept in the nightstand
By the dresser drawers.
She would stay up late with me,
Playing poker and double solitaire.

We shared New Year's Eve together,
Every year, watching the big ball drop,
While Jenny slept.

The old green car with no A/C and no radio
It picked me up on Tuesdays so I could volunteer.
We always got a red light by the green awning.

The red bag of chocolate chip cookies.
I always ate too many and got sick,
Waiting for my mom to pick me up.

She liked Ronald Reagan, George Bush, and Rush Limbaugh.
Every night, she watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune,
This Week with David Brinkley and 60 Minutes.
And she always accepted my Collect Calls.

The fold out sofa bed and that loud ticking clock.
She read me The Dancing Cats of Applesapp
Before I fell asleep.

And then she died,
Two weeks before I graduated from high school.

Dad

The scent of Old Spice
Sitting in the old brown lazy boy with legs propped up on the Ottoman.

He bet me a nickel on football games
I didn't know anything about the teams,
But I kept my nickels in a little silver piggy bank.

Miniature golf at Twain Harte
Relaxing on the beach.
The cabin was on East Fork Road,
And I slept in the living room.
Jenny and I made a dam to keep the fish in
That he caught one year,
I don't remember when.

He kept all of my pictures
All my letters and all my report cards
Even the drawings I drew when I was really little.

The small Jukebox that played Why do fools fall in love
All the country's flags
He said he knew so many people
We'd drive down the street, and they would wave.

Spangers, was that the name of the restaurant?
With the corked roof and portholes?
They always gave us too many cherries
In our Shirley Temples.

I sang karaoke at Don Jose's one summer
And danced with Erik at Christmas
I always ordered nachos and quesadillas
Cuz I knew how to say them.

He passed before I could say good-bye,
Alone in his Lazy-Boy
My bedroom rented out to strangers.
These memories will remain etched in my mind
Everytime I think of him.

I've Changed

I've come to some truths in life,
I never saw before.
Questions in life left unanswered.
Have caused me to want more.

I asked my questions to one group,
Hoping for some honesty,
Some were kind, others blaming,
None had what I need.

So I sat alone and pondered
All that I'd been taught.
You see, I'd been raised in just one way,
But now I felt so lost.

Torn between what I knew
And what I once believed,
I asked my whys and whens and hows,
But in the end, I grieved.

I sobbed for what I'd been denied,
The world outside my bubble,
Kept in by those who were so sure,
It wasn't worth the trouble.

I never thought to think
That when I struggled then,
Of course, those who believed the same,
Would bring me back in again.

I closed my eyes to those around me,
Thinking they lived a lie,
They could not be happy, could have no peace,
Until they believed as I.

It was a time of choice
That meant no more returning.
I could believe, questions remaining,
Or just live life discerning.

Some may disagree with me,
I don't mind what they say.
Life may be black and white for you;
I tend to dwell in gray.

I promise not to say you're wrong,
I'll only be objective.
I realize one's beliefs are sacred
And tend to be subjective.

The Secret

Are you still watching me?
Wondering if I've forgiven?
Wondering if I found out the truth
To what happened so long ago?

I was only five years old,
Trying out first grade.
My memories are so hazy,
But I know something happened.

Was it you or was it her
Who took away my childhood?
Who showed me things I wasn't ready for
Just because you were?

I don't know what happened.
I keep hoping I'll remember.
Maybe you betrayed me
Or maybe you just didn't protect me.

You're the only one I can ask,
So I have to believe you're still here
Watching me as I write this,
Maybe cringing because I still think about it.

But I know something happened.
Someone did something to me.
And one day, I will remember
Beause you'll have to tell me

A Day in Our Lives -- A Story Poem

Logan is sunbathing, our Arizona pup;
He just can't understand why we had to move up
To a cooler climate, where it sometimes snows.
In the white stuff, he shivers and covers his nose.
But, Tasha and Murphy are our Washington ones.
Tasha craves the cold instead of the sun.
Murphy likes clouds and sometimes, the rain;
He'd rather be sleeping and dreaming again.
And, Rosie doesn't care about much but her toy.
She always tries to hide her ball from the boys
And from Tasha who just wants to tease.
She doesn't want to play, only wants to be mean.
But every once in a while, when she thinks they can't see,
Rosie will drop the ball in front of me.
Don't throw it too far, and she'll run for it.
But after one time, she's ready to quit.
Let them inside, and they'll want to be pet.
They want to give kisses; their tongues are so wet!
Logan gives kisses with a rough powerful tongue.
Tasha licks quick; she's just never done.
Murphy's content to just lick my hand
After I've scratched his back as hard as I can.
Rosie will stick her head under my arm.
She hopes to win me over by her simple charm.
As the sun sinks low, they'll all fall asleep.
Logan, on the couch, toward my lap, he will creep.
Down at my feet, Murphy is snoring.
By the look on his face, I guess his day was boring!
And Tasha and Rosie, so full of food
Curl up together, having forgotten their feud.
Philly and I watch them napping together.
We wish days like these could go on forever.

My Sickie Phillie

Under the blanket, his head on a pillow.
Sneezing and sniffling, he lets out a bellow.
Most any other day, you just wouldn't guess
That this fully grown man could become such a mess.
I know he feels bad, just look in his eyes.
He thinks this cruel cold will be his demise.
His voice is so hoarse; he struggles to breathe,
Hoping his breathe-easy strips will give him relief.
His snot-filled hankies pile on a side of the bed.
On the other, his dog, licking his head.
I'd go in to visit, but he'd just complain
That my laughter and smile will bring him more pain.
So, I'll sit here on the couch, silent, and wait
Till finally his pain and his sickness abates.

True Beauty

You sit here next to me,
Look into my eyes,
Push the dogs off the couch,
Ask me how my day was
And what would I like to do tonight.
I ask you to hold me
And let me rest in your arms,
Just for a little while
While I take it all in.
Husband, dogs, house, life.
Beauty is knowing I can just be myself
And you will love me no matter what.

© dwh 2005

A Conversation with my Husband

I just want to be a mom,
Hold a baby in my arms.
You'd teach our boy to catch a ball.
I'd praise our girl for all her charms.

I just want to be a mom,
Give them kisses, give them hugs
See the me and you in them.
And play wrestle on the rug.

Why is it I must suffer
When so many only sigh
"One more child, one more paycheck",
While I sit here and cry?

Why is it I must struggle
Researching drugs and cures
Using pills and creams and needles
When no one is really sure?

No one knows the heartache
Till they've been inside my shoes
Being hospitalized after procedures
Yet again, hearing bad news.

My hope has almost dimmed now
Of hearing little feet
My dreams are almost vacant
Of that child I might greet.

But despite the tempered whispers
To myself within my mind
I still want to be a mother.
Someday, will fate be kind?

©DWH 2005

A Message to Michael Duvall: Preach It, Brother!

I used to care about what was said.
Against all the arguments, the beliefs in my head.
Don't think I defended; I cried and kept mum
I thought if I spoke, I'd just be thought dumb.
But I believed what was written with all of my might.
It's truth, it's inspired, and the words are all right!

But I've grown disheartened by those who believe,
They dismissed my questions, and I felt deceived.
I could no longer believe in this contradiction.
It didn't make sense, and I lost my conviction.
Circular reasoning I just wouldn't stand.
This book had been written by fallible man!

So, humor me please with your own translation.
Though some would argue it's an abomination.
They'll tell you to stop. They'll say that you're wrong.
They may even quote you a verse or a song!
But everyone deserves his or her own beliefs,
Who knows how many you'll deconvert with this piece!

If others can post how much they love god
And abuse us with notes from the Jesus squad,
Then why shouldn't you with your obvious skill?
An old book with a twist just might pay your bills!
And after the naysayers have quieted down.
You'll see that you haven't been struck to the ground.

Dad Through Repetition

You're never there when I need you the most,
You don't seem to care at all.
You're always there when there is a toast,
You don't seem to care at all.
Scotch has always been your best friend,
You don't seem to care at all.
Our problems are left for someone else to tend,
You don't seem to care at all.

You dont' seem to care when I need help,
You're never there at all.
You deal with problems like old things on the shelf,
You're never there at all.
Poetry seems to be more important than us,
You're never there at all.
You don't seem to care when we make a fuss,
You're never there at all.

Although it seems like you're never there,
I love you more than anything.
Although it seems like you never care,
I love you more than anything.
Although you've hurt me more than you know,
I love you more than anything.
Although you're at an all time low,
I love you more than anything.

Old Spice

The smell of Old Spice brings it all back...
How he had more time for Scotch,
And less time for his family,
How he had more love for poetry,
And less compassion for his daughters,
How he tried to avoid the pain in my eyes,
And never tried to listen,
How he tried to understand why,
And tried to forget the past,
How he tried to buy our love,
And never thought to earn it,
How much I have loved him through it all,
And love him still.

Skinny

I never wanted you skinny.
I liked you fat and round
With your goofy face and toothy grin
And your booming New York sound.
I liked that you were huge.
When you wrapped your arms around me,
I felt protected from all the world,
All the dangers I could not see.
I didn’t mind the weight.
I found you sexy and cute!
You’d wiggle your belly; I’d pinch your butt.
I thought you were a hoot!

But then you started getting sick;
Your head and heart would ache.
I did not know what to do,
How to act, or what to say.
The doctors all dismissed you,
Said it all was in your head,
But I knew you were suffering,
Saw you curled up in your bed.

So, now you’re on a diet,
And you’re smiling so much more,
Already down some thirty pounds,
And you’re not sneaking to the store!
I can’t help but to support you
As you lose the weight.
So disciplined and self-controlled.
I think you’re doing great!
I’m amazed at your abilities
How you’re able to stay so strong!
Your love of life, of me, the dogs;
Maybe I wanted you skinny all along?

Balneario

Me besas.
Tu lengua toca adentro de mis labios.
Me empujas dentro del agua.
No resisto.
De nuevo, me besas,
Esta vez, un poco mas fuerte.
Me envuelves en tus brazos.
No puedo escapar.
Y entonces,
Te empujas dentro de mi.
Mis piernas abren.
Las envuelvo sobre tu cuerpo.
Me dices, "relajate, relajate."
Me trepo, y se cierran mis ojos.
Mi mente, vacia
Trato de pensar solo en ti
Y en estos sentimientos.
Te beso, y de nuevo, te beso.
Quiero que sepas como me siento.
Me miras, y sonries.

Translation:
You kiss me.
Your tongue touches inside my lips.
You push me in the water.
I don't resist
Again, you kiss me.
This time, a little bit stronger.
You wrap me in your arms
I cannot escape.
And then
You push yourself inside of me
My legs open
I wrap them around your body
You tell me, "Relax. Relax."
I climax and close my eyes
My mind, empty
I try to concentrate only on you
And on these moments
I kiss you, and again I kiss you
I want you to know how I feel
You look at me and smile.

My life, My love

I work, and you stay home
You cook and clean and play with the dogs
I go to school, and you watch TV
And throughout the day, my cell phone beeps.
You leave me messages
That you think of me and you miss me
You sing silly songs you made up in your head
You tell me what you're doing even if no one else cares.
You know I do.
I cherish each message,
And I can't wait to get home
To see your face,
To know that I am taken care of.
I know our roles are reversed,
And some may think it's strange.
But I love our life together,
Knowing that we take care of each other,
I protect you,
And you protect me.
And as I make the bed before we go to sleep,
I think about how perfect our lives are.
You'll kiss me good night.
And I'll tell you I love you.
The dogs jump on the bed
And lick us till we can't take it anymore.
You hold me.
I hold you.
And we turn out the light.

a child, or the world in a child's eyes

Everything so full of wonder,
Everything so tall
So innocent and pure
Like snowfall left untouched

Everything so sweet
Everything so true
Honesty, sincerity
Everything is soft.

Evil left unaware,
There are no tears to be shed
Smiles are forever
For princesses and princes.

Dreams of a pony
Or to run and never stop
To swim beneath the waves
And never get hurt

Such is the world of a child
Or such is how it should be
So few children have the luxury
Of enjoying their young life.

Gallimaufry of Thoughts

Like a bead of rain
Dropping on a leaf
Drowning a caterpillar,
An ant, and a bee.

Like a bead of jewelry
Falling to the ground
In the middle of a crowd,
An audience at an opera.

Like a bead of glass
Still sitting on the ground
After boy has swept up
After hitting a baseball through the window.

Like a bead in her bikini
That she was finally able to wear
After losing all the weight
And then was lost as the water washed it away.

Dentro de mi Mente

Quisieras escucharme a mi leyendo esta poema? Porfavor hace un clique aquí ~~~~~> www.dump.com/opjc/dentro

Dentro de mi mente,
Pienso en el futuro
Lo que necesito hacer
Con mi vida,
Con mi trabajo
Con mis pensamientos.

Acabaré con mis estudios muy pronto
Pero, entonces, ¿que?
¿Mis estudios me ayudarán encontrar un trabajo?
¿Un trabajo que me gustaré?
¿Un trabajo que me ganaré mucho dinero?
¿Un trabajo que me ganaré mucho exito?

Y con mi vida,
Muchas veces pienso
¿Quien soy?
¿Una esposa?
¿Una hija?
¿Una hermana?
Pero, ¿quien soy?
¿Puedo vivir por mi solo?
O siempre, ¿viviré por los demás?

En mis pensamientos,
Yo quiero saber
¿Cuales son mis deseos?
¿Adónde quiero ir?

Tantas preguntas,
Algun día, ¿encontraré las respuestas?

Soñando Despierta en España

(Quisieras escucharme a mi leyendo esta poema? Porfavor hace un clicque aquí!)

Recuerdo la playa
y la piscina
y las chicas.

Los amigos franceses quien no querían hablar el español
Hablaban Frances, y yo intentaba a entender
A veces hablabamos en ingles!
La ciudad donde se venden anillos y dulces
Y los triquitraques que se mostraban cada fin de semana
Siempre, veia los fuegos y los bomberos!
No olvidaron el 4 de Julio, tampoco!

Iba a la ciudad por el tren y el bus.
Caminaba por las ramblas
Por los mimos pintados en oro y plata.
Tíren dinero, y se moverán!
Perdida algunas veces buscando las antiguas iglesias
Olvidaba como pedir direcciones!

¿Recordaste el "buffalo" y el pizza?
Intentaste a aprender el ingles.

Mi primera festival medieval
Aunque no me lo dí cuenta

Aprendí a navegar a la vela.
Fui la mayor de todos los estudiantes
Pasó bién, porque los instructores, que guapos!
Me llevaron a un bar cuando los niños compraron helados.

Era niña y mujer a la vez
Pero no sabía quien era.
Acabado con el secondario
Esperando a la universidad
Y aquí estaba yo, soñando despierta en España.

Sí,
yo recuerdo la playa
y la piscina
y las chicas.

The Bottle's Empty

The bottle's empty.
Crawl to the kitchen and get some more.
No food in the fridge
Can't swallow anyway.
No one to talk to
So, he'll record his voice
Reciting poetry,
Talking to friends,
Making plans and then forgetting them.
He could stop, but doesn't want to.
The glass is always full
Hear the ice clink against the glass.
Scotch-stained coasters,
Urine-soaked pants.
He hasn't slept in his bed in days
The TV's always on
Watching football and Jeopardy
And anything else till he passes out.
So many tears,
He just doesn't understand.
Confusion, sadness, pain.

Dying for a Drink

His legs are numb;
He cannot walk.
The cane no longer supports him.
"Is your grandpa okay?" they ask.
"He's my dad."
Eyes turn away in embarrassment.
My cheeks feel hot.

We were having fun
Watching Cal beat Stanford,
But now the game has ended,
And with it the fantasy of normalcy.
The EMT's arrive.
They assess him and carry my dad to the street level.
I hide my tears, close-lipped.
No one will see, anyway.

I drive him home,
Watch him pull himself up the stairs,
Limp to the Lazy Boy,
And pick up the remote.
This is my reality:
He is dying for a drink
And waiting to die.

Childhood Prayers

My daddy taught me how to pray
As he tucked me in to sleep:
I'd close my eyes and end the day
With "The Lord, my soul to keep".
My friends, I would ask God to bless;
Mom and Daddy, too.
Then I'd lay my head to rest
And dream of waking soon.

I'd spend the summers with my dad
And alternating holidays.
His screams would make me so sad;
I couldn't wait to get away.
I'd lock myself inside my room
And pray as daddy taught.
Hidden quiet in this tomb,
I'd seek the love I sought.

Most nights he would fall asleep,
Passed out in his chair,
And I would sit and stare and weep,
Thinking Dad's just barely there.
He didn't come to tuck me in.
We wouldn't sit and pray.
It was now my job to know when
To say goodnight to day.

Some years passed, and I forgot
Those sweet moments by my bed:
The childhood prayers my father taught,
The love he showed and said.
Until the day he said goodbye --
My sister, he gave a call.
He said I'm going to die tonight
In my brown chair by the wall.

My sister shared those words with me
Some time after he passed.
"I pray his soul, the Lord to keep,"
His words he taught would last.

You and I

You tell me you're not the best
I reply, "You're not the worst!"
You say that you have regrets.
I say, "We'll work through the hurts."
You say our life, you'll defend
I say, "My, that's quite a task."
You say you'll be my best friend.
I reply, "Soon, I won't need my mask."
You say, "Together, we'll be strong."
I smile at you and say, "That's good."
You say that it won't be long;
Some things take longer than they should.
I say, "Well, we both have pasts."
You reply, "We'll see it through."
I say, "I hope our love will last."
You say, "It will. Our love is true."
I take your hand
You touch my arm
You're just my brand.
I'm your lucky charm.
I kiss your face.
You caress my back.
My fears erase.
Nothing we lack.
I whisper I love you.
As on our bed, we lay.
You say, "Me too."
And we end the day.

My Pit

Behind my head, there is a pit
I don't know how it got there
Perhaps, one time, I did get hit
While I was growing hair.
I imagine it my special spot
My third eye to the world
Where I can see what you can not
Both good and bad unfurled.
While at my pit, some may laugh
I smile back, unmoved.
I possess what you don't have
My individual groove.

His Unfinished Business

You never found success
With your talents and your loves.
You never found happiness;
Nothing was good enough.

Yet everything that you were
Is everything I now am.
Though your life was a blur,
You want me to take a stand:

Make your love of language live
And write your unwritten words.
What I need, you say you'll give
To make your voice now heard.
In depression, do not drown,
And love others while you can.
Let your spirit stay around
And show the good of the man.

I'll be what you could not;
In me, they will see you.
The battle you lost
Will be won with what I do.

Wolf Limericks

The wolf will lay quiet and still
Destroying and enjoying his kill.
The pack's wanting to eat
What is left of the meat,
But they'll wait till the male's had his fill.

The alpha wolf laps up the water
Content after his latest slaughter
He'll bring his kill back
As meal for the pack
Hoping his mate likes what he's brought her.

The wolf cub, so curious and coy
Is certainly no more than a boy
He'll romp and he'll play
And waste the whole day
Thinking life is no more than a toy.

With perked ears, the wolf stands tall and proud,
At a noise, we would not think was loud,
He's ready to pounce
The unsuspecting mouse
Like an actor impressing the crowd.

In the distance, all the male wolves howl
Reverberating their drooping jowls
They're hoping to bait
Those female wolf mates
Without bringing their predators' growls.

She Makes Bad Decisions

She makes bad decisions,
You say, sitting across from me
In our counseling session.

That's your token phrase,
You, the one called mother.
You rejoice in my mistakes.

Like the time I decided to travel
To Spain, Colombia, and Costa Rica.

And when I decided to go to college
Just to get a degree.

And when I wanted to leave home
If only to experience something new.

I'm not perfect,
But you think you are.
No, you know you are.
I've never seen you mess up.

You must make your mistakes in secret
So no one can say to you,
She makes bad decisions.

The Tale of the Telecommuter

Upon my window nasty rain drops fall
Still, through the fog I see my puppies play.
I dream of blankets and I hear sleep's call
And sigh silently as I start the day.
With tea and oatmeal by the telephone,
I click the keys, and I begin my work.
I check my email box, to myself moan,
I hope I don't talk with too many jerks.
The calls come, as I type and check my books,
I check the clock with each "bye" and "hello".
I think of all the cruises as I look
And wish that like my callers I could go.
The work pours down on me like falling rain.
Drip Drop, Click Tab, I'm going quite insane!

Sunsets

bright red and orange
against purple painted skies
hello dull black night

Como Me Llamo

hija, hermana
yo tengo tantos nombres
me llamo mujer

Translation:
daughter, sister
I have so many roles.
My name is woman.

Mr Bones (English Quintet)

"There are bones in the attic," I said, "My dear sir,
And I don't quite know whose they are,
But I'm afraid to go up there for fear that they'll stir,
So I ask that you too will stay far
And you'll keep your eyes on the stars".

He nodded at me, this new friend
And I hoped he believed what I said
While I knew I had my life to defend
I hoped he'd remain in his bed
And not let his curiosity spread.

But while I slept, he did not
He chose to investigate the bones
He didn't care or perhaps he forgot
My warning and my fearful tone.
And he left to discover alone.

Up the stairs he did silently creep
Hoping that I wouldn't know
Of course, I was fast asleep
And couldn't warn him not to go.
He soon would meet his unkindest foe.

The bones, they started to meld,
Though my friend heard not a sound
He couldn't have even yelled
When up the stairs, he turned around
And by Mr. Bones, he was found.

Mr. Bones had waited for this
Hoping for just the right man
He who received the curiosity kiss
So, Mr. Bones could ready his plan
To steal the skin of any who ran.

Of course I, in my blankets, so snug
Didn't know that my guest disappeared.
In dreamland, I was kept drugged
Though when the new day came clear
I would see the thing I most feared.

My guest told me what passed in the night
How he just had to see those old bones
And suddenly, I was filled with fright
I knew he was no longer alone
And his words became familiar groans.

I should know not to advertise my place
And to not take in strangers or kin
Because despite the fear in my face
They always must make the fatal sin
And in losing their life, the bones win.

El Mar

Me voy por crucero al mar
Para ver los delfines y bellenas
Por que no quiero preocupar
De nada de esa vida
Mucho me toma de tanto y tanto
El trabajo y la escuela.
Necesito salir de aquí muy pronto
Antes de llegar a ser una loca.

En el crucero nada me necesitará
Haré lo que quiero sin pensar.
Y el sueño ellos me dará.
También, yo me divertiré
En todo que hay en el mar:
Las olas y playas y el cielo.
Algún día, tendre que regresar
Pero hoy, solo quiero relajar.

Hungry Wolves -- A Brace Octave

In nights before the humans were,
The many wolves ruled all the earth;
Not one was safe from evil mirth.
Each beast fell prey to wolves' cruel lure;
The screams were heard throughout the trees.
Yet, none would come to save or help.
The teeth tore skin, suppressing yelps,
Abductor holding down the free.

One night as moon and stars shone high,
A wolf looked out upon his lair.
Below a mom and young were there.
The wolf called all the others nigh
As young were tastier than aged,
And moms could never well protect.
Despite love, they could not object
As fiends on prey, they pounced enraged.

Though humans, now outnumber wolves;
The creatures, growing near extinct.
There still are those with blood instinct.
At nightfall, they again will bolt.
So, you're not safe and not secure,
Tucked under covers and so snug.
Years past, to eat, the wolves had dug,
And would again, food to procure.

Dragons

green and spiney
breathes fire and smoke all the time
coward in a cave

Carnival

cotton candy kiss
and the smell of fried corndogs
mom, just one more ride

I don't like you, Mr. Bush!

I'll support your war, Mr. Bush
As soon as Jenna and Barbara enlist.
Cuz "my daughter wears combat boots"
Sounds so much better than "we must support our troops!"

Don't get me wrong, I support each man and woman
Who feels called to support patriotism
But I refuse to believe
That we need to be over there
Supporting a new government
Fighting against nationals
When the real reason they were sent
Is to protect your oil interests.

You said you would change things
If you could wave your magic wand
Well, I'd like to see you do some magic
And prove to me that you can be a trustworthy leader.
Tell congress that their kids must go
Before you will enforce the draft
Because I will not put my life at risk
When they have nothing to lose.

We all know the real reason you ran
Was to finish your daddy's business
Over forty, and you still can't let go
Of your daddy's hand.
I just want you to know
That I can't wait until your four years are through
And we can get someone who cares more about the country
Than about keeping the family business alive.

Candy

sugar coated treat
a cavity causing joy
but I'll still eat it

Rosie, Our Good Ol' Girl

Head on my knee,
She nudges my arm,
In her eyes, I see
All the past harm:
How she used to squirm
When we would draw near.
Soon she would learn,
She had nothing to fear.

She came to us
Free to a good house,
And she learned to trust.
She brought us a mouse
That she had killed
On one morning run.
She wasn’t too skilled,
But she loved us a ton.

But I let her down
A few nights ago.
While Phil was in town,
I let her go.
I still can’t remember what
It was that made me do it.
I thought the gate was shut,
But it wasn’t. I blew it.

All four dogs went running;
Only two came back.
A car was coming,
And she was lost from her pack.
I called for her
Like a mother for her child
When I found her, I was sure
With her last look, she smiled.

She was cremated and buried
The following day
Our life, once so hurried
Became slow and gray.
Tashie was brought home
With just one phone call
Across the street, alone
She watched Rosie fall.

Our family of six
Became a family of five.
No more of her licks
‘Cause she’s not alive.
But whenever I sense
A head on my knee,
I’ll look toward the fence
Where we buried Rosie.

sTiCkY CaPs

I jUsT cAn'T sEeM tO sEe
tHe ApPeAl Of StIcKy CaPs To TeEnS.
THeIr GeStUrEs AnD sLaNg
NeArLy DrIvE Me InSaNe,
CoS aS tHeY sAy, "It'S aLl GrEeK tO mE!"

The Perfect Graduation Gift?

Give them a job where they can make money
Please don’t laugh. This really ain’t funny.
Roses or dollars just won’t fit the bill
Flowers just die, money’s a temporary fill.
Don’t give them a card that they’ll just throw away.
A card, burned will give heat, but loans it won’t pay.
So, give them a job, and hire them quick
When repayment sets in, they’ll surely be sick.
They’ll wonder why they struggled with sweat
When a piece of pretty paper is all that they get.
To be a true friend, know just what they need
A job offer shows you’re a true friend indeed.

Doggy's Mama

My name’s Deborah, and I’m a doggy’s mama

I don’t know why it took so long to get our own song
Cuz I think it’s pretty cool to be a doggy’s mama.
I see them barking.
Yeah, I see them jumping around
Girl, I know they’re loud
And even though you’re frettin’ with all their constant sheddin’,
They want you to keep pettin’

All my D-O-G-G-Y-M-A-M-A. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas.
D-O-G-G-Y-M-A-M-A. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas. I got love for all my doggy’s mamas.

You come home after getting the mail.
You open the door, and you’re like, what’s that smell?
The dog’s blasted another one in the air,
Saying to yourself this sh*t ain’t fair.
But you’re the one who fed him eggs and white rice,
Shoulda known it wouldn’t be nice,
Remember what don’t kill you can only make you stronger,
My doggy’s mama

D-O-G-G-Y-M-A-M-A. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas.
D-O-G-G-Y-M-A-M-A. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas. I got love for all my doggy’s mamas.

Cuz with your big heart, I always knew that
Dogs could be adopted
Neutered, spayed, protected.
I know we can make it if we dream,
And I think it should be a holiday
For doggy’s mamas taking away the pain.
But until then, here is your song
Show love to my doggy’s mama.

D-O-G-G-Y-M-A-M-A. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas.
D-O-G-G-Y-M-A-M-A. This goes out to all my doggy’s mamas. I got love for all my doggy’s mamas.

Siberian Husky (a cinquain)

fuzzy
cotton ball jumps,
licks at my face and growls,
vocalizes her constant love,
for me.

Snow (a cinquain)

Crystal
artists leap, land
effortlessly on trees,
their dead leaves and limbs now dancing
in white.

Sleeping Dogs

Dogs are snoring peacefully
Spread out on the Rug
Sleeping, dreaming of Life's Pleasures:
Wrestling in the Sun.

Doggy Seizures come quite often
As their Brains' Nerves snap
Do They think They're chasing Rabbits
Early in the Dawn?

Husbands -- dedicated to my Poh Poh

The ones we feel
Are our soul mates forever
Become impossible boys
When the wedding is over:
Wanting their toys
And making a mess;
Fixing things,
Thinking they know what's best.

Isn't it funny,
That through all these flaws,
You can't help but love him,
Because he is yours?
You chose each other
From the moment you met.
Completing imperfection
Was why you wed.

So the next time he tells you,
"Instructions are for wusses,"
Give him a kiss,
Say, "that’s one of your plusses."
Or if he should go out,
Buy you the wrong size,
Give him a smile;
Look into his eyes.
Tell him you love him
For the man he can be:
Your husband, your lover,
your best friend is he.

Grandpa's T-shirt (cinquain)

He wears
his walk around
the pasture, feed the ducks,
water the lawn, don't give a damn
t-shirt.

Behind the smile

Behind the smile,
I can see his pain,
The surgeries and scars,
The yelling, the strain.
Memories of the past,
His children and his friends
Make him grin and laugh,
Make him forget his end.

His silly t-shirts and his hats
Show his power of will
To think on other things;
While behind the smile, still,
The anger and the hurt
Begin to boil high.
No longer can he smile
He can only sigh.

Quiet, he lies in his bed,
Thinking of those around.
Knowing the end is near
When he’ll be in the ground.
He refuses any help
As we hear the machines drone:
No more treatments, no more pills;
He asks to be alone.

Good

You who sit on pews of wood
Kneel and chant and say you’re good
Stand and bow and say amen
Cross your chest and bend again,
Do you think you’re good?

You look at me with scorn,
At tattoos that I adorn,
Think that I must be so sad
And my life’s choices, always bad.
And you think you’re good?

I used to be like you;
Narrow-minded, too.
All the facts that I would spread
Had been brainwashed in my head.
I thought I was good.

And now I must surmise
The truths I learned were lies.
How could one love with hate?
Go to Church and then debate?
That can’t be good.

I’d rather live my life
Full of smiles, avoiding strife
Open-minded to what may be
Learning all that I can see.
That, to me, is good.

Natasha (An Acrostic)

Never without energy, our little cotton ball
Always wants to play,
Talking as she does with her woo-woo howls
And jumping to our chests.
She always knows we’ll say yes,
Having never said no before.
After us, she’ll run until we’re exhausted.

Logan (An Acrostic)

Lazy boy, you’ve been spoiled
Over and over again by your daddy,
Given everything you could have ever wanted,
And you think you’re king of the castle
Now, don’t you?

Murphy (An Acrostic)

My little shy boy,
Unable to move when you first came to us,
Resigned to sit on the stairs and be dragged
Pretty much to everywhere we went. How
Happy we now are that
You can jump into the suburban on your own!

Phina (An Acrostic)

Puppy girl, you’ve had such a
Hard life already.
Indifferent you are when we sneak your pills in peanut butter,
Not knowing the medicine will make you all better
And ready to play with the others.

Veshie (An Acrostic)

Very soon you will join us.
Elated we were at your birth!
So sure that we wanted you to come to our
Home to help Tashie when she decides
It's time to wrestle with the others
Endlessly until she's hurt!

Death

Pages lost in absent time,
Left forever in absent rhyme.
Age to age and light to dust;
No more eternity we all can trust.

I wander through the dampened dew,
Searching through the dulling hues.
None around for me to meet
As I trudge with naked feet.

Where can I find my promised end?
Untruths on which I did depend?
Stale vapor was my unwanted welcome
Absence leaves me almost numb.

I Used to Believe

You never told me what I wanted to know
Always the pat answer – Because God said so.
Circular answers to my hard questions
Left me frustrated with indigestion

I can understand faith – believing what you can’t see.
But not having answers left me angry.
If you don’t have all the facts, why spread the ‘good news’?
It’s not worth the debate. All you do is confuse.

My true God has become an imaginary thing.
I no longer see the omnipotent as king.
He could be there, but it’s not worth my time.
I’d much rather focus on making this poem rhyme.

Prey

I once was the prey
Hiding and scared.
But now I'm the wolf,
Strong with fangs bared.

Parakeets -- A simple poem about my birds

Four little birdies sit in a row:
Two are blue, and two, yellow.
They sing tweet tweet when I say hello.
Our four little birdies sitting in a row.

Two more birds sit on a swing:
One white one, and the other, green.
If you try and hold one, they can get mean;
Our two little birdies sitting on a swing.

All six birds look through the bars,
Peering through the smoke of Philly's cigars.
We're so glad that they're all ours,
Our six little birdies looking through the bars.

Afterlife

I'd like to think that death
Is just another way
For people to say I'll be there
Every single day.

They watch us from on high,
See everything we do.
They're proud of our accomplishments
And when we follow through.

When loved ones pass the physical
Into the spiritual plane,
A hand extends to bring them
Where they'll not feel their pain.

They sit and watch the rest of us
In comfort up above,
And when we least expect it,
They let us feel their love.

So, please don't think I'm crazy
If I stop and stare.
I often see a miracle
Though no one's really there!

Sun (cinquain)

Yellow
ball shines bright, glows
'gainst a blue canvas sky,
while brown earth orbits around its
warm rays.

Grandpa's Green Jacket (Cinquain)

Silver
strings cling on tears
old green jacket, stripped bare;
once new, worn well, but never thrown
away.

Lanturne en Español

Páz:
Lobos
juntos en
invierno.
Luz

Translation:
Peace:
Wolves
together in
winter.
Light.

Lobos (Cinquain)

Lobos
van de caza
en el campo pa' más
comida; devoran todo
que ven.

Translation:

Wolves
go to hunt
in the field for more
food; they devour all they
see.

Hunting Food (Tanka)

Creatures from afar;
They seek the vulnerable.
They come out at night.
Run and hide in tall grasses;
Seek shelter from hungry wolves.

Sunny Day (An Acrostic)

s ome time ago, you started sharing,
u nassuming you'd find so many fans;
n ot simply because you know how to write,
n or that you have such a sweet simple name:
y ou just know how to bring a smile to everyone who reads your works.

d ay after day, you read and you comment,
a dding friends and fans to
y our long list of favorites.

Lobos en el Invierno

En el invierno
Adentro de los arboles
El viento eterno
Repite sobre el aire

Esperando la primavera,
Los animales duermen
Sueñan con la tierra
Del fin del nieve.

Del bosque, un lobo sale
va de caza pa' algo pequeño.
Mucho tiempo, él no tiene;
El debíl es lo que halle.

here is the translation

In the winter,
Inside the trees,
The eternal wind
Echoes in the air.

Waiting for the spring,
The animals sleep,
Dreaming with the earth
of the end of the snow.

From the forest, a wolf comes
hunting for something small
A lot of time, he does not have
The weak is what he finds.

Our Brood (Linked Limericks)

Szievesen came here on a plane
With toys and her food in the rain.
With a cry and a growl,
She let out a howl
As if to say, "don't you dare do this again!"

The other dogs waited outside,
Not knowing who accompanied our ride.
But, oh did they bark
When they heard our car park
As they sensed an addition to their pride.

We introduced each dog, one by one,
And when all the meetings were done,
They continued to sniff
At Veshie's pheromone whiff
Instead of enjoying the run.

So, now we have five dogs, not four.
It's puppies and puppies galore!
But, please don't assume
We have plenty of room.
At three, we should have screamed, "No more!"

Estrellas (Spanish Haiku)

Estrellas brillan.
Una cae, bailando
a la tierra.

Translation:

Stars shine.
One falls, dancing
to the earth.

Colores

Verde es el bosque después de la lluvia.
Café es la tierra que tuvo sed.
Gris es el lobo que busca comida.
Rojo, la sangre que sale de los dientes.
Negra es la muerte que ya viene.

Naranja es el sol que baja sobre las montañas;
Amarillo y púrpura son las sombras que deja.
Azul es el cielo que lentamente se va,
Y blanco, el viento que lo repite todo.

Translation:
Green is the forest after the rain.
Brown is the earth that was thirsty.
Grey is the wolf who searches for food.
Red, the blood that falls from his teeth.
Black is the death that is coming.

Orange is the sun that goes down over the mountains;
Yellow and purple are the shadows it leaves.
Blue is the sky that is slowly fading,
And white, the wind that echoes over all.

Nature's Winter

Flakes dance throughout the sky.
From above to below, silently by.
With grace and dignity, they fly.

Drawn with care, each one unique;
The form and fashion -- showy but meek,
Their design not copied, opus magnifique.

A gift of white to follow the wind.
An end to the fall; let winter begin!
And, all the animals -- to their caves, they descend.

The lone keepers of the bitter cold
Seek out their prey through their singular mold.
Only well-coated animals could be so bold.

Once fed, the beasts dance in rhythm with the snow:
Each crystal that falls leaps to and fro.
Only the watchful see where they go.

And, so are the days from winter to spring:
The hunt, the dance, and then some might sing,
Believing in what the next day will bring.

My Little One

I brought my baby home today,
Carefully selected just two months ago.
I saw mother and dad before you were born,
And we agreed their baby should be ours.

The birth announcement came;
Pictures were sent at two weeks, then one month;
She grew more beautiful with each passing day,
And we readied ourselves for her arrival.

Early this morning, you left your mother's arms,
Tucked in tight for a three-hour flight.
I glanced once more at your most recent photo
Before leaving for the airport.

This was our first long-distance adoption,
And I didn't know quite what to expect,
But they called my name,
And they brought you out to meet me.

You were crying, still groggy from your flight,
But then, you looked at me.
I picked you up, and it felt as though
You wrapped your tiny arms around me.
You were quiet for just a moment.
I rubbed your back and looked into your eyes --
So deep, so trusting.
I couldn't believe you were mine!

I wish we could have stayed like that,
But Daddy was waiting for us.
So, I kissed your nose one last time
And carefully placed you back in your kennel.

Wakeful Hunt

The howls of wolves are long and old,
So lonely, full of longingness.
They're seeking comp'ny, solace cold
Before the sleep can overtake.

On hills or deep in forest glens,
The animals come seeking food
For mate and cub in hidden dens
Before the sleep can overtake.

No prey is safe from watchful eyes.
The smell of flesh is strong and pure.
A predator must pounce when nigh
Before the sleep can overtake.

So, watch for wolves while still awake
To see the meals that they must make.

Feelings about my Poetry

A little less than perfect:
I found out the other day
That I needed to use Spell check
Instead of posting right away,
Which means posting without editing;
I do it way too much:
Assume that everything I write
Has the golden poetic touch.
I hate to reread my work;
Even worse is to rewrite
Because I don’t believe in rough drafts;
My writings are finished at first sight!
You see I am a grammar freak.
I’ve been one for quite a while
Since an English teacher held contests
And I won for my room's aisle.
Since then, no one can tell me
That my poems need to be repaired.
I’ll stare you down and laugh
And make you feel real scared.
Because you don’t understand
What it means to be flawless:
I have to be good at something
Because I fail at all the rest!

Preparing for Winter (alphabetic acrostic)

A bout this time of year
B efore the snow starts falling
C ome I to think of nature’s
D ense richness.
E verywhere animals are
F alling asleep, having
G athered all they needed before
H ibernating.
I n their dens;
J ust a few remain awake
K eeping watch for
L ike-minded creatures in
M iniature, smaller than themselves, but
N ot so small to not provide a meal.
O ut in the shaded open areas,
P erhaps a wolf has found his meal,
Q uenching his thirst in a
R iver that has not yet frozen over.
S urely, the animal has
T hought about what can be done
U nder dire circumstances, those
V ery cold nights
W here it does not matter the area covered, in that
X yloid wilderness,
Y ou just can’t find food. But once these thoughts come and leave my mind, I fall asleep:
Z zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I Can't Have A Child

It happened when I was twenty:
It was PCOS, the doctors said --
Not that they knew anything about it;
They sent me to do research instead.

My little-girl dreams diminished,
My first findings were my worst fear:
So many women left childless.
Would I have none of my own to rear?

What's worse, would I never marry?
So many men with family on their mind,
And I could be a barren woman,
Discarded and left behind.

But, then, I met my love, Phil.
Dogs were his dream, not a kid.
Unconditional love in a dog's eyes
Meant more than a family did.

Yet, he wanted me to be happy,
So we tried to have our child.
Those years with pills, IUI, and hormone shots
Left me weak and feeling defiled:

One hospital visit, a nurse was in awe
At the size to which my ovaries had grown.
Not sympathetic to my emotional pain,
She asked, "Could my ultrasound be copied and shown?"

It will be two years in December since we last tried
And six months since my last counseling session.
We have five dogs to cherish who sleep on our bed,
And I now don't take pills for depression.

Sometimes, I wonder, what if it had worked?
The remedies so many doctors gave?
What if losing more weight, one more prescription
Had produced that one child I craved?

I'll never know of that scenario
As I've tried smiles in front of my frowns.
Being content with what I can't have
Keeps the 'could have beens' from getting me down.

A Typical Breakfast (Rictameter)

Breadcrumbs
left over from
eating toast this morning,
a simple buttery pleasure,
easy to fix and eat when time is short
and you don’t want to cook breakfast,
or you’re simply lazy,
which, for me, means
breadcrumbs.

Belle (rictameter)

Kneeling,
She leans over;
her wings glisten and shine
With dew drops from the night before,
Her calm reflection, a perfect portrait
Against the still lake below her;
With one arm supporting,
She whispers while
Kneeling.

Our First Day of Forever (Cinquain)

Giggles
erupt between
us two as we exchange
smiles 'gainst sun-shadowed mountains
today.

Del, the Teacher (Rictameter)

Teacher,
you taught us how
to correctly write so
many types of poems in a way that
made us giggle and smile and, of course, learn.
You almost didn't take the role,
your stubborn refusal.
I'm glad you were
teacher.

© Deborah W. Halasz 09/27/05

Missing Rosie (free verse)

I never thought I'd lover her as much as I did
Sweet Rosie, with her dim-witted looks
And her roll-on-her-back seizures
Her mule-kicks whenever you touched her hind paws.

She came to us three years ago,
Free to a good home.
We thought Logan needed a friend.
She was a great big sister.

Rosie would ignore our calls to come in
She had to sleep in a kennel, covered by a sheet
As any movement would spook her
And she quickly formed an attachment to me.

Her ears would perk when I was still a mile from the house.
She'd stare out the window whenever I left
Waiting for me to return
She truly loved me.

And, then she was killed
A hit and run; no skid marks.
The murderers left the scene,
And we were left to pick up the pieces.

We buried her ashes with her favorite tennis ball
Under an evergreen, near the fence by the road
I'm constantly reminded of her smile
The love in her eyes as she would lay her head on my knee.

Every time I see my dogs run,
Chase a ball or look to be pet
Every time they jump to my chest to lick my face
I see my Rosie, and I know she is okay.

Forbidden Romance (Sunny Day's Cento)

A time widows will ne`er forget
Middle aged housewife, college boy,
While sitting on the balcony.
Thinking of how he was laughing
Knowing she has more than one muse
Playful she was,
Not just physically, but also in mind,
Overcoming past sorrows and strife.
He says I'll help you through this,
Awaiting what will soon transpire,
Hoping fully to display
Precious moments
Soft and sweet, just like the moonlight
Knowing some day this will all end,
left here feeling so alone.

An Apt Description of John (Bluffininlv's Cento)

He's a simple man in long dark robes
The man who causes the lamp to turn
It's plain, I'd fain not such desire
Dark rippling shadows;
Well fortified on each and every side;
And thick with the smell of decaying leaves;
Tied with a crimson bow.
Poor boy, poor boy!

A little less limber, a wee bit slow,
His gait most strange, and stranger ways,
Afraid this going might be the last.
When fragrance but memory, and beauty passe',
Perceived by the many, understood by the few;
Before obdurate hearts, by nature collective,
Like a rainbow to sudden summer showers,
As good as a door wide open.

As the vivid hues both fade and glow,
So he grew in health and character,
He'd scurry hither and thither,
With the spirit of giving
The dream fixed in his head.
For if it's just right is of his own choosing,
Like a formula for living and for dying.
And leave that good soul in full unaware.

In the good times and in the not so good
Heretofore friendless, though friendless no more.
And so it was we remained as friends,
To each and every their special way,
The substance of tomorrow found.
From early morn till failing light.
Of this effulgent light and darkness blend.
With whisperings both of youth and age.

Daughter (QueenT's Cento)

It's that awkward, cold silence:
You weren't there to dry my tears --
Screwed in the head, and in denial
Do you know how hard it is? Just looking at myself?
When we both look the same?
Fuck the world for all its worth.
It's no longer good enough;
So how can I be happy
In a world so full of hate?

As I listened to the truth come out,
It’s more than words can hold.
My mind went in a whirl.
It won't be long;
My self esteem is hitting rock bottom.
Every moment is a must.
You're not supposed to make me feel like shit.
Make the same mistake again,
And get back to your old seclusion

It's time to do a major U-turn;
It's like all my old doors are locked.
That must have been my cue.
Now I sit here with the nothing,
But at least my mind is unique and clear.
This whole experience had been worthwhile

Please just remember
It takes more than genes to be a father

Oh, you naughty cracker, Yonadan

Oh, you naughty cracker, Yonadan
Wherefore art thou, naughty cracker?
For them, ardent cracker?
Naughty!

Oh, floating on the starboard
Some ringer caught on his finger.
Oh, the venom’s mine.
Afar, sorry scorn met him, laying here.
Papa, on cedar bed a-floating
Sits for a mysterious spell.
Till the salmon met Groder’s clogging song.
Never very safe; they were up and gone
On hooks.
Ever did some figure he’d lose it ever,
That tall biscuit.

Oh, you naughty cracker, Yonadan
For them, ardent cracker?
Wherefore art thou, cracker?

Ode to J Rhys Davies

There once was a poet named John.
His rules always did make us yawn.
With a crack of his whip,
He couldn't let us slip
From greeting from dusk until dawn.

Death of a Wolf (Quinzaine)

A wolf is dying again.
Do you hear his call;
Do you care?

Catz, Granny Goose

My ode to our Catz, Granny Goose
Serves only to simply deduce
Though she appears mild,
She's really quite wild
When she shakes her quack-quacky caboose!

Preparing for and Celebrating Diwali (Deepavali)

A row of lamps to light my way
From my house to yours on these most auspicious days
Gifts to give and love to share
To honor Lord Vishnu and the Others out there.
In turmeric, I will dip this hem,
In honor, I kneel before giving clothes to them.
As firecrackers light up the sky,
I watch in awe, then pause as sirens screech by.
I cook, and I pray on the full moon’s night
With banana leaf plates; so, we celebrate right.

Discarding the darkness of death all around,
I embrace all the life and truth to be found

My Poh Poh

A self-described gaseous man
Is Poh Poh, who writes when he can.
With the help of his wife,
He'd be writing all night.
Just make sure she has a close fan!

Hungry (cinquain)

Wolf cubs
hide in dark dens
while mom seeks prey outside
in wint’ry winds and snowpacked hills
afar.

My Friend Leander

Leander's a great poet I know,
Whose AP page puts on quite a show.
Those cute PowerPuff chicks
dance and move with their kicks,
And aliens don't know where to go!

Teacher Cookie

Cookiezeal, my grammarian friend
Can be strict with critiques now and then
Where you err, she'll point out
She oft makes you pout
Because no one knows more than her pen.

The Unwilling Reader

Reading my favorite fairy tale,
On a rock down by my river,
A small frog happened by.
His croaking made me quiver.
He asked me to share my book
The pictures he wanted to see
I crossed my legs and turned away
This book belonged to me!
Then just as I was sitting there,
A chipmunk came out of hiding
He also wanted me to read
This author’s famous writing.
I refused and closed my book
I stood as if to leave
When then three butterflies flew above
And one started to grieve:
"Won’t you please share?" she asked.
"I’ve not heard this story before."
Alas, I would have no peace.
And, so, I screamed, "No more!"
I plopped back down on the soft grass
And opened to page one.
Each animal, with eyes wide open
Waited in anticipation.

Halloween Repetition

The
creepy
calls from
outside linger on this night so dark
and scary. Children dress up like ghosts and
witches, trying so hard to spook the
neighbors, but still receive their hard earned candy.
Filling up their bags with fruit, candy, and toys, they
giggle, drowning out the creepy calls from outside,
lingering on this night so dark and scary. The
wind blows through the trees sending shivers through
the spines of each and every child, dressing
up like ghosts and witches, trying
so hard to spook the
neighbors, but still receive their
hard earned candy.

Early Morning (Quinzaine)

It's too early to be up.
Why am I awake
this early?

I Want My Bone (acrostic)

I n the shed outside

W andering
A imlessly, he
N otices an ivory colored
T rinket,

M eant for gnawing.
Y awning to disguise his find, he

B reaks into a run, pounces
O n this shard of bone and begins grinding his teeth.
N o one can steal this from him, not
E ver

Feeding Baby (Linked Lanturnes)

~~~~~~~~~~
Left
Alone
Baby wolf
Waits for hunting
Mom

Cold
In dens
Hidden far
From predators’
Reach

Sounds
Echo
Outside from
Cracked snow-covered
Limbs.

Scared,
Baby
Shivers and
Hopes Mama comes
Back.

More
Rustling
As mama
Enters, prey in
Mouth
~~~~~~~~~~

Wolf In Winter (Acrostic)

W inters full of cold and frost
O ffer many too high a cost
L eaving mates and cubs to kill,
F athers must fight off the chill

I ntent on bringing home a meal,
N ot stopping, his hunger to reveal

W hisps of air carry a scent:
I njured animal, an accident.
N earby in the blood-stained snow,
T emperatures, too cold to show
E arlier where a fight was won
R emains a family’s dinner done

Dying (Starhiker's Cento)

He lies in his bed, and he's dreaming
He knows he would never awake.
Another day without a cure.
Many said it would not last.

Reflected in those eyes
Where snowflakes fell deep as it could,
On the golden leaves where dew drops weep,
Emotions will never lack.

Eyes are red, and furthermore
Tongue is white and skin is bleak
How empty it now feels...
At least He had some fun.

As one step ends the next begins
Blocked by something it can't see.

Poh Poh's Cento 8

How does one fight an enemy that does not fear death?
I'll push you on the train tracks.
Bend down to one knee.
Blood drips from your chin.

As the water came to shore,
Crows and buzzards swarm overhead.
Everything comes out in a lightning quick flash.
Nothing smells as bad as you.

Cento 7 for iamfromabove

We are sure she'll be remembered
Entrancing words, heart on her shoulder
In sea blues and pea green with satin sashes pale yellow
She is so pretty, she is so divine
Realistic, resourceful, makes the world a better place
And when they bring the moxie out
She will never fade away

Starhiker's Limerick

There once was a man named Starhiker
Who fancied himself as Will Riker
Commanding the skies
In a Norwegian disguise.
Found his wife and he says there’s none like her.

Pookiebubu (Acrostic)

In case anyone was wondering about the history of my name!

P ookie's the name that he gave her
O ne night when she was sick.
O nly her husband could think of such a
K id's song to make her smile.
I n the living room, he danced and sang as I
E rupted in giggles half-way through,
B ut still clutching my stomach,
U nbearable that pain was.
B e careful when you are ill that he doesn’t
U nload his talent on you!

Deborah

~~~~~ ~~~~~
D estined for greatness
E ven though she has not found her greatest treasure yet
B rought forth that she might enjoy nature's beauty
O wned by none but herself
R isen to beauty and confidence
A ware that her only competition is herself
H appy to know that she is loved
~~~~~ ~~~~~

I'm a Starhiker

Sitting in the hot tub
On another clear black night,
My husband and I watch falling stars
Dimming from full bright.
We wonder if the shiny ones
Are really alien ships,
Watching over their creation
Taking not so subtle dips.
We search out constellations:
Big Dipper’s all I know,
But I like to find different designs
Of the stars that decided to show.

Someday I’ll be a better stargazer
We’ll buy a telescope
But for now, I’m just a starhiker
And, I’ll have to cope!

Veshie's Song

Veshie, Veshie, little one.
Life with you is so much fun!
When you 'make' outside, we're glad.
Did you know a wolf's your dad?
Veshie, Veshie, little one,
Life with you is so much fun!

It was Worth It!

After May, this year,
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Two years of study,
And now I'd have some peace.

A job with better pay
Was always the goal I sought,
And time spent with my husband
Was one of my first thoughts.

Working full time with studies
Every night after my commute
Meant no time with my family;
That I could not refute.

But one sunny day in July,
I was all aglee
For in my hands lay my work's goal:
I earned my Master's Degree!

A Batter's Torment

The batter steps up with a gleam in his eye
No way will this pitcher strike me out
He lifts up the bat over his left shoulder and swings
"Strike One," is the umpire’s reply.

The batter just smirks and tightens his grip
And kicks dirt off the five-sided plate
He steps into the swing as the ball is pitched
"Strike Two!" the umpire states.

Well, now the batter has lost his grin
As he grimaces and looks at his bat
I’m not going out in the ninth inning
And looking down at the ground, he spat.

His eyes met the pitcher’s, and he gritted his teeth
This last swing would mean live or die.
He centered his feet and tilted his helmet
As he watched the next ball fly right by.

"Ball One!" yelled the umpire, and the batter just nodded
He knew his time was not up, not yet.
He stepped back to look at his team on the bench
He knew he couldn’t get upset.

With his bat at the ready, ‘round the homebase he stood
With anticipation, he waited so still.
And here came the ball, flung full force down the middle,
By the boy on pitcher’s mound hill.

Into the mitt of the catcher it fell,
And everyone waited in silence
For the umpire to give the crowd his determination
The teams and the crowds became tense.

"A bit high," said the ump, and some watchers yelled
"No way! You need some new eyes!"
But he ignored their catcalls and squatted again
He'd allow none to give him rise.

Another pitch, and a ball the umpire said,
The batter was at full count
It was now or never for the hitter to show himself good
As he leered at the pitcher on the mount.

All players stood still as the ball was pitched out
The batter concentrated and proud
He swung a full swing as best as he could
But the ump said, “Strike three, son. You’re out!”

Turning 18

Adulthood is not
all it's cracked up to be.
You'll find yourself longing
to be seventeen.
But just for today,
enjoy being you.
Those milestone birthdays --
There's only a few!

Life without Meaning

I am but a fly,
Cursed to live out my short life
Stuck between a window and a screen until I die.
What disturbed mother would do this to her son?

It’s thirty below
No senseless individual is going to open a window
When there’s three feet of snow!
I tell you, there’s none!

No one answers my call;
Of course, my voice is much too small
To reach between these thick walls;
So, I guess my destiny is done.

Wolf Rhyme

Some wolves' fur is black,
And some of it, grey.
All seek a home
Where all wolves can stay.

White are the snowflakes
That fall on his nose
Copper, his eyes' hues
That don't often close.

Some howls are lonely,
And some echo back
As they seek a friend
In their shrinking pack.

An Arsonist's Thoughts (Monchielle)

Remembering his art:
The flames are rising high
The arsonist just smirks
How weird and wicked ones
Could enjoy heinous works.

Remembering his art,
He adds on his own voice
He thinks about his last
How many he angered
With his most recent blast.

Remembering his art,
He asks to himself what
It is he so enjoys?
What some would call their heart
He desires and destroys.

Remembering his art,
He rises from his place
And walks away again
To find a canvas where
He’ll stir the ires of men.

Baldy's Bachelor Party!

Bring on the donkeys!
Bring on the gin!
Baldy’s getting hitched
So, let the fun begin!
We’ll eat up all the chicken breasts
And spit out all the bones
We’ll drink up all the beer
And try to get real stoned.
Let’s play some rounds of poker
And spend all that we’ve got.
We have to let him know
That he’s giving up a lot!
And just to add good measure,
And for the fun of it,
Let’s invite a nun
And have her pray a bit.

Just try to remember
And this is important stuff:
Don’t party the night before
Or, you’ll be feeling pretty rough!

Weavers Convention (Outre Screeve)

Spiders wait in line
Others climb on top
Weaving has begun
And in and out, then back, and drop

Some wonder what it is they'll learn
While watching as the spiders weave
So many gathered for the task?
It's hard to conceive!

Think of the design
See how it stands out?
Who had earned this right
Following one another's route?

The web, it glistens many days
As people marvel at the sight
The work becomes nobody's home
Spiders exit right

Denali in Winter (Cinquain)

Snow-capped
mountains under
purple sunsets reflect
on misty iced rivers below
the fog.

Truth

V1
Being pulled from one church to another
Who was right I didn’t know
I wanted love just from my mother
From my dad, it didn’t show
I listened when they said I’d go to hell
I wanted someone outside of myself
To love me unconditionally

V2
I thought I’d fin’ly found the perfect truth
Friends surround with smiles
I studied hard and mem’rized through my youth
A perfect Christian child
Outside of myself I couldn’t tell
The pain and hurt inside I knew so well
Would forever stay with me.

Chorus
I’ve been searching all my life
To find the truth
You tell me just to believe,
But that won’t do
I have questions that need answers
That you can’t give
Why don’t you let me live?

V3
I broke loose when I saw all the deceit
Fake faces seeing blind
My choices always landed in defeat
And they were less than kind
When I found my love, I saw my life
It wasn’t worth dealing with the strife
And, I wanted to be free.

Chorus

Bridge
It was a time of choice
That meant no more returning.
I could believe, questions remain,
Or just live life discerning.

My Rascal Puppy

Around the back, Szievesen is digging a hole.
Does she desire the coldness of the earth?
Or is she simply being mischievous?
Perhaps she's just found the perfect hiding place?
I call her name, and she runs away.
Why won't she come in?
Can't she hear me calling?
Why is she forever vexing me!
Then, quietly, without reason, as if she's a perfect angel,
She comes running: my little rascal puppy!

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

The Reality of Zoos

Zoos are for animals who don’t make it,
For those creatures who couldn’t run fast
And for those ones that are being poached.
Their numbers just wouldn’t last.
Locked as exhibits from freedom
They quietly stare behind bars
While we gaze in awe with our cameras
Then quick drive away in our cars.

Adoption Rant

They say I should adopt
Those critics who know so much
Who think adoption is nothing more
Than shopping at the store

Pick that one and pay the bill.
Yeah, if only it were that easy!
There are so many forms to fill out
And, even then there is some doubt!

Besides, adoption only fills the heart
Of just the right person.
And that person isn’t me,
So, please just let me be!

I share with you my struggle
To get it off my chest
Not to seek advice
From those who think they’re wise.

If I can’t have my child
In my own way and in my time,
Then, I will have none
And, fate will have fin’ly won.

Last Christmas with Daddy

My last good Christmas with my father had to be when I was still in high school. I can't tell you how old I was, but I do remember I was a teenager. Despite the fact that we were old enough to know better, my dad insisted that we put out milk and cookies and lettuce for Santa and the reindeers. The whole night before Christmas, he kept joking about the fact that he wasn't sure if Santa would think we were that good this year. Both my sister and I rolled our eyes, but we played along.

My dad had this house with high vaulted ceilings. He had designed the place himself before my mom and he divorced many years ago. With such a high ceiling, he could easily have a Christmas tree that reached fifteen feet high, and he would whenever my sister and I spent the holidays with him.

I finally decided to go to bed after becoming tired of my father's jokes. I knew there would be a filled stocking in the morning plus many more presents under the tree the next morning, and I couldn't wait.

Even though I had grown past the age of excitement on Christmas morning, I still set my alarm clock for early in the morning. For some reason, I thought I had the advantage if I could empty my stocking before my older sister. Sibling rivalry, I guess. So, at 3 in the morning, I crept upstairs and took a look. I had to laugh. Despite my father's insistence on the existence of Santa Claus, he had to know I'd ask why Santa decided to fill my stockings with samples that obviously came from my father's job! And, it looked like Santa was too lazy to even fill my stocking. The stocking, itself, was empty, but below was a grocery bag filled to the brim with goodies.

What surprised me even more though was that there were no presents under the tree. Maybe my dad was right about me not being a good girl. But, then, I looked closer. Trimming the Christmas trees were various envelopes. It seemed every other one had either mine or my sister's name. This was intriguing, but I knew better than to start opening them right now. I had better go back downstairs and crawl into bed. For now, though, I wouldn't be surprised when my sister and father joined me in the livingroom later that morning.

I had to wait until almost 10am to find out the mystery of the envelopes. That's how long it took my sister to shower dress and apply her precious make-up. After emptying her grocery bag stocking and giving me a smirk, my father called both of us to his lazyboy recliner which was to the left of the Christmas tree. He told us that there were twenty envelopes for each of us somewhere hidden in the Christmas tree, and neither of us could open them until we each had found our twenty. So, began this new, fun game. Of course, I was going to compete with my sister. I wanted the bragging rights! But, my dad wasn't very good at hiding the envelopes. Each was very visible and very easy to find. After counting the envelopes, I sat on the couch and started opening them, one by one. In each was a dollar bill of varying monetary value. I think the smallest was a one dollar bill, and the largest was a one hundred dollar bill. I had never seen a one hundred dollar bill before, so my eyes were wide with excitement. My father explained to us that he didn't feel like shopping this year and hoped we would like to receive money instead. Of course, we both nodded and smiled.

I don't remember the rest of that day; nor do I remember if we spent another Christmas with my dad. But I'll always remember the grocery bag stockings and the Christmas tree filled with money.

Why I Hate the Holidays

I hate that holidays represent families:
As if every family is supposed to want to spend a day together;
Or can speak to each other on one day.

I hate that holidays represent fake smiles:
Those fake smiles that seem to say “I love you” to your face;
And turn to pure hatred when you leave.

I hate that holidays represent presents:
That you have to hope that you haven’t offended grandma;
And that you have sent an acceptable gift.

I hate that holidays represent religion:
Remembering my step-dad’s call to salvation that embarrassed everyone;
Or mom’s look when I said that I went to midnight mass.

I hate that holidays represent children:
A constant reminder that I don’t have any kids to brag about;
Or that my sister has the perfect daughters.

But, most of all, I hate that holidays represent holidays.
Another day with nothing at all to celebrate;
And nothing to be happy about.

Running Like Maniacs!

R ight around the corner
U nder a broken rain gutter,
N ot even
N oticing that mommy
I s watching from the window,
N ever once stopping for a
G lance at the inside.

L eaping over toys
I n and out of the shed
K eep going until they are
E xhausted!

M orning after morning I watch their
A ntics until I call their
N ames to come
I nside from their playground
A nd for once
C alm down because maybe now, they'll
S leep!

Reality Check

Dogs jump up
After running inside;
Happy smiles to see us again.
They get a little crazy:
Jump on the couch
Knock the food over.
We wait a moment for peace.
Lay down at our feet,
And we glance at pictures.
Sleeping Beauty trips me with a frown.
Five dogs now,
We should be so happy;
But we’re not. Rosie’s not around.

Rosie isn’t here anymore.
Rosie isn’t here with her head on my knee.
Rosie isn’t here anymore.
She’s buried in her ashes in the yard;
Life without her has been so hard.
She had finally found love with us,
But now, she’s gone, oh why… why her?

Yip Yip Yip!

“Yip Yip Yip!” she cried.
I couldn’t believe it.
We had just gone to bed, and Veshie was crying.
“Yip Yip Yip!” she cried again.
What could possibly be the matter?
I glared at my husband.
He leered at me.
I won the staring contest,
And he got up.
“Yip Yip Yip!” she screamed as he opened her kennel.
She ran out the door
And straight to her water bowl.
E M P T Y!
Her face looked so sad.
She ran to the door
As he hurried to catch up.
But she didn’t scratch.
She jumped up
Just enough to look out the window
At another E M P T Y water bowl!
“Yip Yip Yip!” she said a bit more sternly this time.
What could she possibly want?
Back to the kitchen,
She jumped up at the sink.
“Yip Yip Yip?” she asked him.
Rubbing his eyes, my husband opened the cupboard
Out came a small silver bowl
Filled just a bit with tap water
And Veshie was silent,
Her eyes glued to that small cup of water.
Returned to her kennel,
She lapped and then slept
Curled up in a ball in the corner.
You say I don’t have kids,
But I disagree.

Snowmen

Snowmen
built yesterday
with two inches of snow
melted to nothing but water
today.

She Keeps on Going Back

Her fingers are broken
Because she wanted to get the mail.
He grabbed her hand
As she grabbed the keys.
He loves me, she says,
Rubbing her swollen pregnant belly.
A week later, her wrist is in a sling.
He didn't mean it,
She tells me;
Did you know I'm having a girl?
He's so clean-cut.
No one would guess
His anger is so easily found.
And, she must think she deserves it
Because she keeps going back.

When Grandpa Died

My husband didn't have to do it,
But he saw my pain-filled eyes.
He knew how much it meant
To be at my uncle's side.
He set in his mind his price
And thoroughly cleaned his truck,
And once we had directions,
I packed and wished him luck.
He paid 8000 dollars not so long ago
For this that was so precious
He would now let go so low.
They only gave him 3000,
And I'm sure if he could, he'd cry.
Because in the end, no one said thanks;
No one understood his sacrifice.
Because why would one be so stupid
As to put a vehicle up for sale?
Just to attend a funeral
When we could just send mail?
That was their thought I suppose,
My wicked family and friends
Who must have missed my tears
And thought we had no sense.

Why do I Twist?

I twist when I am nervous
I twist when I am bored
I twist when I’m depressed
What am I twisting for?

Each little hair I pull
In bunches from my head
Creates just the perfect sting
So that my urge is fed.

But wait, I’ll twist again
Because I just can’t stop
Twirl then twist and yank
Until there’s a bald spot.

Similar to cutting,
My blood is clumps of hair
Strands on all my clothing
I have to see it there.

I’m not trying to annoy you
Please just understand
I’m not pleading for attention
I just can’t control my hand

A Decorated Neighborhood for Christmas (A Rondeau)

Let's take a drive down many roads
To see the many bright light shows
At each, someone has taken heed
To demonstrate subjective creed
Wrapped up in festive bows.

Although each year I grow
Disenchanted, sometimes low,
I can be made light with glee;
Let's take a drive.

The santas with deer in tow
On rooftops covered with snow,
Lights red, yellow, and green
Create the festive scene.
It's evening now, you know:
Let's take a drive.

Snowman (Cento Triolet)

In the meadow, we can build a snowman;
Look at all the snow that's on the ground!
Because the white has covered all of the land,
In the meadow, we can build a snowman.
Instead of building castles in the sand,
Let's use this scarf and coal I found.
In the meadow, we can build a snowman;
Look at all the snow that's on the ground!

Dogs in Snow (Cento Triolet)

Dashing through the snow,
Chasing after dogs,
Camera in tow --
Dashing through the snow!
What a crazy show
The two of us in fog
Dashing through the snow,
Chasing after dogs!

Dark Already (Haiku)

Night falls so early
Four o'clock, and sun has set
Bright moon brings such peace

Why do I live? (Free Verse)

Sad ...
So sad, and I can't break --
Conflict with family,
Stupid job,
Pile of bills.
It would be so easy to end it all:
Slit my wrists,
Drive off a cliff...
So easy, and it would all be over.
I curl up in a ball and contemplate
How I could take control --
Succeed in one thing that would erase all others.
Sad...
So sad.
My eyes close,
Squeezing tears that remain.
My face is wet,
But not just from tears.
Tasha sits next to me,
Her paw on my lap,
Her tongue on my cheek.
Szievesen sticks her wet nose
Under my leg.
Logan and Murphy at my feet,
Phina barking outside,
And Phil holding my hand.
Still sad,
But I must stay here.
These six are my link to life,
And I must hold on.

They Don't

So many can have
what I can't have.
So many can love
what I'll never love.
And yet,
they don't.

Failure (Cento Triolet)

An empty room, a broken fairy tale,
So lonely with my painful thoughts.
Everything I try, I fail.
An empty room, a broken fairy tale,
I sit here watching my life’s trail
So many succeed while I cannot.
An empty room a broken fairy tale,
So lonely with my painful thoughts.

Different (Cento Triolet)

Every finger in the room is pointing at me.
It could be so easy if I was just like them
Where are their pitfalls that I can’t see?
Every finger in the room is pointing at me.
Though what I always hoped to be
Is politically incorrect, a semi-precious gem,
Every finger in the room is pointing at me.
It could be so easy if I was just like them.

Nothing I do is good enough for you
You always find something to criticize.
The pain deep inside, something I wish you knew.
Nothing I do is good enough for you
You've never once tried to take my view.
Insults always drown out my cries.
Nothing I do is good enough for you
You always find something to criticize.

And my heart is sick of being in chains.
Though you've never hit me with your fists,
I guess I'm to blame for my pains,
And my heart is sick of being in chains
It's so easy to cry when it rains
Remembering everything you've ever hissed.
And my heart is sick of being in chains
Though you've never hit me with your fists.

Because of You (Cento Triolet)

I was born the day you kissed me
All my past finally erased
One look from you; I’m who I was meant to be.
I was born the day you kissed me
Now, here we are; the future’s all we see
The short time we’ve had are just a taste.
I was born the day you kissed me
All my past finally erased.

Not Strong Enough (Cento Triolet)

I think it's gonna be a long long time
Before I’ll finally be strong on my own
Though, so many say it’s not a crime,
I think it's gonna be a long long time
The way I mature each time I climb
My family long has not condoned
I think it's gonna be a long long time
Before I’ll finally be strong on my own

And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
When I finally find the courage to walk away.
I'll stop thinking about what might have been
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
My family has only hindered me again and again.
Though some may think it crazy to say.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
When I finally find the courage to walk away.

Still Hurting (Cento Triolet)

Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?
The criss-cross markings on your arms and legs?
I hear you say you don't know how to deal.
Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?
Some times, it's the only way you know to feel.
So many times, you can't help but disobey.
Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?
The criss-cross markings on arms and legs?

You (Cento Triolet)

Nothing but thoughts of you in my head
As I stare out the window at our five-dog life.
Because you made me believe on the day that we wed,
Nothing but thoughts of you in my head
We don't always agree, but you love me, you said.
Yes, like others, we've had our times of strife,
Nothing but thoughts of you in my head
As I stare out the window at our five-dog life.

Smith & Wesson (Cento Triolet)

Cold drink chillin in my right hand
Vodka, Kahlua, milk and some coke
I could drink these all night; they're just my brand.
Cold drink chillin in my right hand
Just a little bit, and I really can't stand!
My tolerance is low, and that's no joke
Cold drink chillin in my right hand
Vodka, Kahlua, milk and some coke

Sleepin' off the night before,
I think I might need a little gatorade.
My eyes are blurry; my head is sore
Sleepin off the night before
The next day I always swear, no more!
Then, I always forget so many times I've played
Sleepin' off the night before,
I think I might need a little gatorade.

Blessed Be (Acrostic)

B e good to those who surround you
L ove the world as it is a gift
E nrich yourself with the knowledge of old
S oak up the magic of all around
S how yourself tolerant and accepting
E rupt into singing or laughter when necessary
D evelop your whole spirit

B ring light into the darkness
E ver more, blessed be.

My Wintery Friend, The Snowman

See the snowman on the grass?
He has no cares at all
He watches as the cars pass by
He smiles as night falls
He doesn't mind the cold
In fact, he'd share his scarf with you.
He'd even give his carrot up
If you were hungry, too.
But don't steal his two coal eyes
He needs them to see all he can
You see, he only comes around once a year,
My wintery friend, the snowman.

My Father (Cento Triolet)

The greatest man I never knew
Would often give me too much praise.
My father thought my love was true,
The greatest man I never knew.
Yet I was often someone who
Took love as just a common phrase.
The greatest man I never knew
Would often give me too much praise.

The greatest words I never heard,
I can't say what they ought to be.
I wanted something so absurd --
The greatest words I never heard.
But now my lesson has been learned;
My eyes now open, and I see
The greatest words I never heard,
I can't say what they ought to be.

Love after Death (Triple Triolet)

Please tell me you'll remember, dear
After some years have passed
My spirit always will be near
Please tell me you'll remember, dear
Though I am gone, shed not a tear
Nor let you be downcast
Please tell me you'll remember, dear
After some years have passed

I never truly left, you see
Though, some may say I did
I never truly left, you see
My spirit now has become free
Though spiritually, I am still me,
The physical I rid
I never truly left, you see
Though, some may say I did

We'll dance together in your dreams
I pray you will remember
Though, distant you now think I seem
We'll dance together in your dreams
The love we share shines like beams
Let's not let it fade to embers
We'll dance together in your dreams
I pray you will remember

You are Father

You’re not my dad,
Though you have been often.
The moments when I needed advice,
Or a shoulder to cry on,
Or an ear to bend,
You’ve been there.
You’ve cared.

Your daughters are my sisters;
I know them well.
So often I wish we were closer,
These girls and I.

You’ve been my protector,
My guide,
My advisor,
My encourager,
My strength,
Too many times to count.
You are the man I wish my dad could have been,

Uncle holds no meaning for me;
You are father.

For SweetPoetess

Let’s go shopping
With money we don’t have,
Peer into the windows
And pick out clothes we’ll never wear!
Stop and have some ice cream,
Two scoops and a cherry;
Laugh about the latest ‘disaster’
To happen at the high school.
And just talk.
Smile.
It’s good to have friends on the bad days.

Aiming for Attention

Kissing climber and little lover
Gentleman jester and persistent pest
Sweet and spoiled, perfect pets
Each enjoying to simply smother
Doting dad with lapping licks.
All animals needing to be near
When he tries to rest after work.

A Wolf's Prey

Splashing toward the ocean,
He eyes the almost ice-cold food
Flipping furiously to get away.

Unconditional Love of a Dog

Her fuzzy floppy ears pointed to the sky,
My cottonball who always howls at the window
Dirt splashed fur from chasing the rain gutter
Landing in my lap with a diminutive dose of love.
Unmoved by my moods,
She always rubs her furry body against my leg
My feet cleaner, she licks between my toes
Jumps onto the chair
Crawls behind my back
And promptly goes to sleep!

My Wind

You blow through me
Your words, no longer filled with the stench of scotch
You who could only gave so little,
You gave me more than I wanted to accept
You were my wind.
You breathed in me the ability to think, to understand
You whispered to me how to learn, how to love.
You were my shadow when I shined.
And, when you could do no more, you watched.
You were my wind.

Deborah's Creative Writing